Now I’m Wondering if I’ll Even be Able to Find My Way Home Tonight

Not only is my lifestyle is fucking the planet the fuck up, but now I find out I don’t know where anything is.

 

If Everyone Lived Like Me, We’d Still Be Screwed

Find out exactly how much your lifestyle fucks up the planet.

Consumer Consequences

 

How Do You Know It’s Winter In Portland?

The hobos have made their annual migration to the south, and it sure does make for a boring walk to work. Where do they all go? I don’t have a clue. Fear not , they will be back, to liven up my weekday trek to Sector 7G, or for those of you who are not Simpson’s fans, what you would call work.

I’ll be the first to admit that it can get annoying being asked for change by every person on every street corner, but being the only person in this city without an Ipod, what else is one to do for entertainment?

 

I’m a Little Bit Kucinich, You’re a Little Bit Romney

The USA Today, America’s favorite comic book/newspaper helps us choose a presidential candidate.

Finally, we can all find out what kind of person supports Tom Tancredo.

 

Finding Art

We wandered the streets for hours forgetting time and reason.

“I forgot what it was like to feel that way.”

Turning into a nondescript building,  the room transformed into art.  We stood at the edges and watched the hypnotic swirl.

“I could watch this forever.”

The indistinguishable lines between art and space.  Everyone spoke in whispers.

“Is this part of the piece?”

We walked outside, still holding our breaths.  Every sound.  Every breeze.  Every movement.  It’s all just a part of the piece.

 

Collating, Copying, and Costello

I’m convinced that desk jobs are a punishment for some evil deed I perpetrated at some point in my life. The only thing that makes it even remotely bearable is Elvis Costello. And, truth be told, unless Elvis is planning some special lunchtime concert, he’s only making it marginally better.

 

But It’s a Rock. . .

Rock, Paper, Scissors is a joke. The very idea that a rock can be beaten by anything is patently absurd. I am of the firm (and correct) opinion that if one was faced with the prospect of being hit by a rock, and countered by holding up a piece of paper, this would be the result.

Matt, however, believes that something has to beat the rock otherwise what’s the point of the game. Which brings me to my point, if Rock, Paper, Scissors is ever to be taken seriously the three objects should actually be things that make sense in real life scenarios. I’m sorry, but there is absolutely no way a piece of paper would ever beat a rock. And if it doesn’t make sense it shouldn’t be. (Apply that philosophy to various things in your life).

 

Stevie Wonder Comes to Portland and I Don’t Care

That’s a lie.  I totally do care, and if I could get my hands on some tickets I would be the loudest, dancing-est, happiest person there.

 

It’s Both Funny and Sad

It’s been almost a year since we moved to Portland. I’m amazed at how fast the time has passed. And I’m amazed at how little I have accomplished in a year.

Last week a friend from home asked me what I liked best about Portland, I said the beer. Kind of explains the lack of accomplishments.

 

Chairman of the Bored

Day 19 of unemployment and I am losing my mind.  I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge of some sort of breakdown.  And not like a moment of clarity, everything suddenly makes sense sort of thing.  More like a shave my head, cry uncontrollably, dress in black, and write bad poetry kind of breakdown.  Or possibly a check into a padded room, eat soft, salt-free food, and speak in a non-threatening tone kind of breakdown.  And this is only day 19, people.  Day 19.  I’m fairly certain that insanity isn’t supposed to set in until at least day 25.