December 2007


Another year gone. This is always the time I start to tally up the year. Count up the losses, the successes. The small victories, and the crushing defeats. I start to examine my life, my place, my contributions. And I always come up short.

Every year my plan is to give more that I take. To create more than I destroy. To bring joy into the world, my life, and the lives of others. I failed miserably this year. I’m having trouble creating a meaningful life when I’m not entirely convinced that life has any particular meaning. I look at all I have; a roof over my head, a job (actually, two jobs), but somehow it’s not enough. I want to know how to create a life that’s more than just existing. I want I life that is creative, and giving, and fulfilling. People have music, art, writing, literature, kids, science, whatever- a thing that makes them open their eyes each morning, renewed and confident that their “thing”, whatever it is, is why they’re here. What does that feel like? What does it feel like to have a purpose?

So, to our tens of readers, (most of whom don’t comment, but I know you’re reading. I am all knowing, like a god, but cuter . . .) what’s your thing? And can I borrow it?

Not only is my lifestyle is fucking the planet the fuck up, but now I find out I don’t know where anything is.